I want to share with you this one act 5-minute play I wrote 18 years ago for independent Melbourne playhouse La Mama, under the theme “Glass”. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, though it did get some good reviews for tackling the tricky subject of alcohol abuse. It does contain adult language, and due to its subject and nature, I give no apology for that.

The Play: Jonathon Daily is a ruined retch of a man, serving blame on others for his own ill reasons. Lonely, desperate, and ashamed. He frequents the pub after every working day, often drinking to excess. Alice was once his lover, his wife and his life, but how easy it is to lose all through the menace of alcohol.

The Scene: A front entrance opens directly into the dining room. There is a dining table in the middle of the room, an empty plate and empty glass on the table. Against one of the walls in the room is a sideboard (dresser). On the dresser are two items, a telephone and a little silver picture frame containing a picture of a very beautiful woman (Alice).

Act One: [Jonathon (Jon) enters the room through the front door, intoxicated as usual, stumbling across the front step he calls out in a loud painful voice ] Alice! Alice!

[looking around the room as he sways in from outside. Jon mummers to himself] Are you out with that fucking sister of yours again, the little tart. Don’t you think the whole town doesn’t know what she’s fucking good for [short pause] hey? She’s been on her back more times than Frank ‘fucking’ Bruno.

[Jon walks over to the dining table, staring down at the empty plate] Where’s the food, Alice, hey? Where’s a mans fucking dinner when he comes home from work?

[spinning around with a contorted grin on his face, then a smirk] Yeah, that’s right, I do fucking work you know [nodding] I work my fucking arse off all day [smirking and nodding more] and YOU expect ME to come home to this, an empty fucking plate? [long pause] Oh yeah, you want me to cook my own fucking dinner do you, well I’ll teach you, you selfish bitch, two can play at that. I’ll make my own, and you can starve and go to fucking hell [smiling]. At least that way I’ll get something decent to each for a change, none of that garbage bin shit you call food. [laughing and shaking head] No, no, no [laughing much louder] my food is much better anyway, YEAH, fit for a fucking king [pause looking around] fit for the king of this bloody shit hole, [looking around the room with that big smirk on his face], this hole of a home.

You can’t even move your arse to clean the dishes we ate off last week, last fucking month [sniggering] Just look in our bedroom, there’s dishes in there with fucking mushrooms growing on em.

[pause, snorting out through his nose] God do I have to come home to THIS [pause] every fucking night, I should have fucking stayed with the rest of em down the fucking pub. OH, but they’ve all gone home to their happy little wives.

[mimicking the wives] “Yes Tom”, “Can I take those shoes Peter”, “How was your day at work love?” [hah] “I cooked your favourite tonight darling” [snorting]

Fuck them [snort]

So when was the last time you cooked my favourite Alice? Do you even remember what it is? Shit it’s been so fucking long, do I even know what it is, my god its been fucking ages [sniggers, head in hands]

[Jon walks over to the dresser, opens the bottom drawer and pulls out a bottle of whiskey, then he looks at the little silver picture frame and picks it up. Staring at the picture he walks over to the dining table, placing the frame on the table he sits down and fills up the empty glass with the contents of the whiskey bottle. He then goes to take a drink of the glass with his left hand while reaching out for the frame in the other, pausing with the glass at his lips, he sniggers] Yeah, that’s right, you can smile, you can laugh, I bet you’re having a good fucking time right now.

[Jon gulps down his drink, sniggers to himself, then put his glass against his forehead and begin to sob] Don’t you realise what you did, when you walked out that bloody door? [pointing to the door]

You know, you turned and smiled [sobbing as he speaks] I thought you were only joking Alice, you were smiling, I thought everything was alright. You went out to get pizza, Americana, extra large, don’t forget extra chilli [laughing with tears].

You were wearing that perfume I bought you for your birthday [laughing silently], remember, your favourite.  I can still smell you here Alice [sniffing deeply]. I can still smell you in every room [sobs, looking around].

I’m sorry Alice [pausing]